Strawberries and more...

I have debated if this should be posted here or just keep to myself... but I thought maybe somebody could relate so here goes.

When Cosette was first born I thought she was so beautiful - in my opinion all newborns are. I love how wrinkly and squished up they are - I even think their "cone heads" are pretty darn cute (trust me - Paisley had the biggest cone head ever). During her first couple of weeks, Cosette slowly unwrinkled and began to chunk up. At three weeks, her birthmark began to appear. It started as just a dot but each day I could almost see it getting bigger - I started to freak out a little. I Googled it (which was a bad idea) and began to worry about the unknown. How big would it become? Would it affect her eyesight? What if she needs surgery? I read so many other moms stories and saw numerous photos of children whose perfect faces were hidden by disfiguring birthmarks. I was so scared that Cosette's would do the same. As a mom, I could look past the birthmark and see my precious daughter but I was afraid that her "Strawberry" was all other people would see. I noticed I did something I never thought I would do - I tried to "hide" her... not because I was embarrassed but for some reason I felt like I needed to protect her. I was scared of the comments she would get - instead of "What a beautiful baby!" it was "Is that a birthmark?" I was scared of what others thought. I was scared that for the rest of her life she would have to deal with this.

(I know most of you are probably thinking I am making too much of this, that it is just a little birthmark - But at this point in the story, I had no idea when it would stop growing. I did not know how big it would get and what complications it would cause. As a mom, I just wanted her to be perfect and it was hard to accept.)

Fast forward.

A little while back I was uploading some of Cosette's photos and I was curious how she would look without her "Strawberry Patch." So I used Picassa and basically "Photo-shopped" her birthmark away. I posted the picture on our Easter post and as you can tell without her birthmark, Cosette just doesn't quite look the same. It is funny how much I have embraced it and love that it is what makes her her. I hardly even notice it now and don't even worry about showing her off - because she still is one cute kid. I am glad that eventually it will fade away for her sake, but honestly I will kind of miss it when it is gone. For now it is just part of her and I love her.

So the point of this... the point is I learned a few lessons.

1 - Never take you health for granted. Out of all the complications that can occur, I will take a blemish anyday of the week. Coestte is healthy and strong and I am grateful for that.

2 - Don't ever believe that looks are everything. So much of what makes a person who they are is deep below the surface (I tell my young women girls this about once a week - when will I start applying it to myself? Ughhhh - stinking beauty magazines always shouting you aren't pretty enough as you check out at the grocery store).

3 - Don't be afraid to pray - there is nothing too small for the Lord to know about.


Shayla said...

She really is a beautiful baby girl! But I totally don't think you were making too big of a deal, parents worry & care so much, TOO much sometime... my little nephew has one over his eye on his brow but it is not a pretty strawberry :) It's a huge bluish/purple bump. Kids & rude people are constantly asking if he fell & thinking who knows what! See, it could be so much worse :)

Krista Darrach said...

You are so normal...don't think for a minute you're not. I love and appreciate your honesty, doesnt' it feel good? To just lay it all out there and say, "Hey, this is how I'm feeling, and what I've learned." I love it!
She is beautiful and adorable!
Heavenly Father sends us children so we can learn...we often think it's other way around...it's not.
Luv ya!

Spencer and Jessica Drew said...

I loved how you said that. I think that she is such a beautiful baby!

busy bowman said...
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Durfee Family said...

I ditto Krista! We learn SO much for our children! Cosette is BEAUTIFUL! Birthmark and All! Hillary had one on top of her head when she was Cosette's age! All gone now!

Of course you were worried! You are a good Mom! Love you!

busy bowman said...

Cyndi you have taught me so much about being a mom! Being your older sister that was suppose to be my job! You are such a good mom to me, and a good mom never stops worrying! We worry that if are kids eat enough or to much. If they get enough sleep or are sleeping to long. To worry is normal. Breeanas mark is almost gone and even though it wasn't in a noticeable spot. I already know I will miss what we called her princess mark. When ever we went swimming kids would say she's bleeding or what happened but to me it made her special! Cossette's mark it is a part of her and while it is here it makes her special and unique! We are made unique in Gods eyes so why is it on earth we try to fit into what people call normal? We should try harder accentuate the uniqueness in all of us. I love you and your girls are so beautiful! I can't wait to see you all again!!! I love all the pics and blogs so I don't feel you are so far away!

jaci said...

your amazing cyndi-i don't know how you express yourself so well-but your thoughts truely touched me and cosette is so sweet:just like a strawberry;)