
I look at my short span of being a mom and am scared to death. I have already lost my temper far too often, my home no longer is kept at the cleanliness standard it once was, and I complain all the time. And... I ONLY GOT ONE KID! Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard for me? Why something I always dreamed of doing leaves me looking for something more? Why in moments I think would it be so bad if I went to work and found someone to care for Paisley?
But then I force myself to remember... I remember the days of working at KinderCare. I remember the children who craved any attention - even if it meant hitting, biting, pulling, scratching, etc. I remember the babies crying when mom came to pick them up because they spent more time being cared for by the infant teacher and that is who they wanted. I remember how even though we meet the physical needs of the children, emotionally these children were starving. They just wanted to be nurtured, to be held and to be loved - and in a facility like that there just is not enough hands. I remember that no other person will ever love my Paisley as much as me - so why would I want to leave her in their care for any extended period of time.
So I remember these things and I remember that it is my sacred responsibility and I try to "forget myself and get to work." Because I realize nothing else I really do in life will matter much to anyone... But I do hope someday when Paisley is dealing with a toddler of her own - she wonders "How did mom ever do it?"
Disclaimer: I know not all childcare experiences are "evil" and at times it is necessary to find others to help care for your kids. I am just speaking for my own self and what I have seen.
4 comments:
Exactly.
I love being a mom more than anything, but I totally find myself doubting my capabilities, knowing that I can never live up to the standard my own mother has set... but I can.
Great post. Thanks!
well said, cyndi. very cute post!
You hit the nail on the head. Everyday I wonder how your Mom did it with 8 kids. I can barely handle my 3 and forget about food or laundry...the kids are lucky to be alive by the end of the day. I keep thinking I will get the knack of it someday. Most of all I just suck it up and enjoy all the fun!!! Tell Paisley Hi! It was so fun to see you both!
I love what you said Cyndi, you are exactly right! It can be hard, but I know in the end it will be worth it!! RaeLynn and Ainzlee are my whole life! I love them more and more each day! When do you find out what you are having? Or are you going to have it be a surprise again?
Post a Comment